In my last post I gave a capsule description of EnCiv’s understanding of “civil discussion.” I now want to add an important detail: civil discussion’s key dimensions—being respectful, constructive, and open and fair to all views—are so tightly connected as to be inseparable. Strengthen any one and you are likely to strengthen the other two; weaken any one and you are likely to weaken the other two.
That discussions are susceptible to both vicious and virtuous cycles isn’t a secret to anyone who’s experienced them, much less to those who, as in my own case, have been facilitating them for decades. If you’re curious, though, here’s a brief description of how they come about.
First, let’s look at the follow-on effects of weakening any one of the elements of civil discussion. The less respectful a discussion, the more participants have walled themselves off from each other; hence, the less constructive it is likely to be. Discussion participants can also be easily tempted to generalize from individual instances of disrespectful discussion behavior to the discussion process itself, in the process undermining its perceived openness and fairness.
The less constructive a conversation becomes, the less apparent reason anyone has for paying close attention to others—the most basic level of respect we all owe each other—and the less faith anyone will have in the openness and fairness that are supposed to help make for a positive conversation.
Finally, when either openness or fairness are compromised, it’s nearly a certainty that the resulting discussion will be less rich—and, therefore, less constructive—than it otherwise would have been. Excluding or unfairly treating particular points of view is also the very definition of disrespect.
Fortunately, each of these equations holds true in reverse, as well.
Treating others with respect not only tends to elicit the same behavior in return, but also encourages understanding and learning, the hallmarks of constructive conversation, even as it supports openness and fairness. Constructive conversations make it easier to respect other participants and find value in openness and fairness. Finally, openness and fairness ensure respectful treatment and contribute to constructive conversation.
While it’s true, then, that civil discussions can go awry in any of three basic ways, it’s no less true that participants and facilitators can keep that from happening in three ways as well.
